Because I love You
by troutymouths
Summary: Kate's thoughts during 'ALWAYS'. First angsty fic ! Read and Review. SPOILERS for those who hasn't watch 4x23. English is not my mother tongue, so bear with me. "Because I love you" Does anybody want to be my Beta ?


_I love you Kate, if that means anything, please don't do this.. _

_I'm more than a partner_

The words he said during their fight that evening still echoed in Kate's head.

She wished that she had the strength to say those 3 words back, but everytime she tries to say it, she chokes, and her insides clench. _I do love him. I love him so much . _The only problem is Rick thinks she doesn't, and her idiot self is letting him run away from her, and she's even pushing him away .

She nearly fell off a building today, fighting with the man who shot her. She was thankful that Ryan suddenly appeared and pulled her up. He had always been a really great friend, and now he saved her life. But A little part of Kate wished that those were Castle's hands, like always. Gates stood behind Ryan, and he seemed so pissed. In a spur of a moment she had resigned, losing the only constant in her life ever since she was 19. She didn't care anymore though. She realised that there were things that were more important in her life, for instance, well, Castle was more important than everything else in this entire world, at least to herself.

Life is Short, and Katherine Beckett learnt that the hard way. She nearly died twice before telling the love of her life, her one and done, how she feels, and now with determination, nobody's going to be able to stop her. She went for a walk, and her feet brought her to the place where she first told Castle about the wall in her heart. The wall she would demolish so he could get inside. The wall, that she had destructed. Just for him. She sat there, alone this time, stared at the empty swing beside her, and her heart made a decision.

* * *

She knocked twice on his door, wishing he was home, alone, without his mother and daughter so she could finish what she wanted to do without any distractions. She tried calling him, but it immediately went to voicemail. A part of her was afraid that Rick no longer wanted to see her. He said Im done. And she was afraid he meant it. She just stood in front of his door waiting for him to open. Her heart was pounding and suddenly she realised she had no idea what to say to him, and before she could start creating words he opened the door. He opened the door and She saw a look that she has never seen before showing on the face of Richard Castle. What was that ? A look of resentment ?

"Beckett what do you want" He said. His voice was cold like ice, sending sharp pangs to her chest, breaking her heart a little more.

She said the only thing she could say before breaking down. "You" and began charging forward to claim her prize. She felt him pulling away but she had to make sure he knew how she felt. He on the other hand was confused. Why is she wet ? His mind were running questions, throughout her apologies and when she leaned it again he pusher her away. A wave of confusion hit her, suddenly thinking again. He's rejecting me.

"What happened ?" he needed to know. He needed to make sure she wasn't going to break his heart again.

"He ran away, and I didn't care. I almost died today, and all I could think about was you. I just want you" She confessed. She leaned in again, her heart breaking again when he moved slightly backwards, not leaning forward to capture her in yet another kiss. _He doesn't love me anymore. _She pulled away , devastated, and as lightning struck she reached out for his face, using her hands to memorize it one last time.

Suddenly she was gliding backwards, her back hitting the door, shutting it in an instant. She felt pain in her shoulders but she couldn't feel anything except the lips of Rick Castle devouring her, and all she could do in return was just hold him tight, and kissed him back with all the passion she has to give. Never in a million years, has she ever thought that she would be making out with richard Castle, but never in a million years has she ever thought of her mother being murdered too. Rick started kissing her neck, and he was moving slightly downwards when he reached her scar. He popped open the first button revealing her scar. The symbol of his love declaration, the mark that she hates so much, but he loves, because it symbolizes her bravery, and his love. He hesitated, but she guided, her hands in his until his fingers were tracing the scar. She lifted her hand, reaching for his face, and they kissed again. This time with less passion but lots of love. She smiled as they broke apart, noses touching, and he grabbed her hand, with her slowly leading him into the bedroom.

* * *

Never in a million years had they both thought they would be together. But this year has changed everything. They both love each other more than themselves, which is great. They have a lot of things to work out, her mothers case, his lie. His love declaration, her lie. But when two beings love each other so much, then nothing will be able to separate them can they ? They will talk tomorrow. Now it's time for the both of them to enjoy the thing they've been waiting to do for four years, and it is all good.


End file.
